Got a big feeling? Name it!
In the moment, when we are angry, scared, frustrated, tired, lonely, sad or bored, it can feel overwhelming- like we actually ARE those feelings, not people who have those feelings, and just FOR NOW. We forget that feelings are temporary. So how do we 'snap out of it' or reassure ourselves IN THE MOMENT that it is ok to feel this way, because IT WILL PASS? I love a strategy that Dan Siegel uses, called 'Name it to Tame it'. Essentially, you name the feeling, out loud (or you can write it down), and it reduces it.
So how does that work? Essentially you are in your right brain when the emotion is taking over, and by using language, your left brain comes online- it makes meaning out of what is happening in your body and it starts to help you feel more in control. Give it a try- next time you see your partner or child or friend or colleague feeling a 'big emotion', try gently describing what emotion you think they might be feeling (trust me, people are good at correcting you if you get it wrong!). For example, "hey Chris. I can see you are really upset. You look like you are really frustrated.". If you are saying it to yourself, it can help to look into the mirror "I feel angry."